#95: Happiness is a choice (but you can’t simply choose to be happy).
04 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
I finally discovered around the age of 35 that happiness really is a choice. I had seen that slogan and mantra a millions times, always simultaneously scoffing and agreeing with it. I used think, “If I could just choose to be happy, wouldn’t I have done that long ago lin the midst of sadness and stress?” I also believed deep inside myself that some day I might have the chance to choose happiness somehow, without knowing the path to that.
I now realize that happiness is a million tiny choices every day. Happiness means that when someone yells at you in traffic, you try to not get angry back, think of why that person is so unhappy themself, shake if off and know the day can get better. Call it optimism or call it blind faith. I am not sure when I made this shift, but one day I realized that bad things happen to people every day. Some of them choose to maintain a belief and hope that happiness can be possible through any circumstance. And I think it can be.
I guess the confusion lays in the concept you can say “I want to be happy” and it magically occurs. But happiness is slow and sweet and comes when you least expect it. Because I don’t feel the pain of every little bad thing (and absolutely horrible huge thing) that happens to me, I have the opportunity to see the beauty in every day things that provide for happiness. When my daughter smiles at me or reaches out to me it is a moment of brief happiness that could outweigh any unhappiness. If I recall my wedding day, or imagine a hug from my nephew, I fill my mind and life with happy thoughts that can have amazing power over me and the bad ones that used to inhabit my every thought. My dreams and hopes for the future are other ways to fill my mind and thoughts with happiness. They make me believe in myself, endless possibilities and push away the negativity that people so often push on you.
Happiness is also a choice that leads to more happiness somehow. Whether it is a pendulum effect or just fate, I feel that as you surround yourself with more joy and amazing moments, more seem to happen. And like with sadness, happiness is infectious and allows for everyone around you to tap into that feeling.
Try to live in it every day at least a little and it will become as much of a habit as brushing your teeth (but a lot more fun!).
